August 27, 2009

Quotes 8/27/09

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
Steven Wright

Inside of a ring or out, ain't nothing wrong with going down. It's staying down that's wrong.
Muhammad Ali

Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.
Mahatma Gandhi

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Ambrose Bierce

August 23, 2009

Quotes 8/23/09

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
Mark Twain

It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.
Winston Churchill

Those that know, do. Those that understand, teach.
Aristotle

August 22, 2009

Quotes 8/22/09

Hating me wont make you pretty.
Nathan Astle

Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
Albert Einstein

We are so vain that we even care for the opinion of those we don't care for.
Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach

Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.
Johnny Carson

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
Douglas Adams

August 11, 2009

Quotes 8/11/09

Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.
Oscar Wilde

Mankind must put an end to war, or war will put an end to mankind.
John F. Kennedy

The difference between fiction and reality is that fiction has to make sense.
Tom Clancy

July 28, 2009

Quotes 7/28/09

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
Jack Handey

If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas.
George Bernard Shaw

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.
Albert Einstein

Don't find fault, find a remedy.
Henry Ford

July 25, 2009

Quotes 7/25/09

The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Albert Einstein

As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.
Albert Einstein

You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do.
Henry Ford

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Emo Philips

There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it.
George Bernard Shaw

July 18, 2009

Quotes 7/18/09

No-one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.
Kin Hubbard

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.
Rodney Dangerfield

History is a set of lies agreed upon.
Napoleon

It has long been an axiom of mine that the little things are infinitely the most important.
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

July 1, 2009

Quotes 7/1/09

Which painting in the National Gallery would I save if there was a fire? The one nearest the door of course.
George Bernard Shaw

Minds, like parachutes, only work when open.
Anonymous

Nothing is wrong with Southern California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.
Ross MacDonald

It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning.
Henry Ford

June 20, 2009

Quotes 6/20/09

Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has no heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
Winston Churchill

It's a recession when your neighbour loses his job; it's a depression when you lose yours.
Harry S. Truman

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.
Robert Frost

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
Douglas Adams

June 9, 2009

Quotes 6/9/09

Two possibilities exist: Either we are alone in the Universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying.
Arthur C. Clarke

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
Mark Twain

First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
Steve Martin